TITLE: A Madman’s Diary - Lu Xun FROM: AUTO TO: EN DATE: 2025-04-27 ORIGINAL TEXT: 某君昆仲,今隱其名,皆余昔日在中學校時良友;分隔多年,消息漸闕。日前偶聞其一大病;適歸故鄉,迂道往訪,則僅晤一人,言病者其弟也。勞君遠道來視,然已早愈,赴某地候補矣。因大笑,出示日記二冊,謂可見當日病狀,不妨獻諸舊友。持歸閱一過,知所患蓋「迫害狂」之類。語頗錯雜無倫次,又多荒唐之言;亦不著月日,惟墨色字體不一,知非一時所書。閒亦有略具聯絡者,今撮錄一篇,以供醫家研究。記中語誤,一字不易;惟人名雖皆村人,不爲世間所知,無關大體,亦悉易去。至於書名,則本人愈後所題,不復改也。七年四月二日識。 一 编辑 今天晚上,狠好的月光。 我不見他,已是三十多年;今天見了,精神分外爽快。纔知道以前的三十多年,全是發昏;然而須十分小心。不然,那趙家的狗,何以看我兩眼呢? 我怕得有理。 二 编辑 今天全沒月光,我知道不妙。早上小心出門,趙貴翁的眼色便怪:似乎怕我,似乎想害我。還有七八個人,交頭接耳的議論我,又怕我看見。一路上的人,都是如此。其中最兇的一個人,張着嘴,對我笑了一笑;我便從頭直冷到腳跟,曉得他們布置,都已妥當了。 我可不怕,仍舊走我的路。前面一夥小孩子,也在那裏議論我;相色也同趙貴翁一樣,臉色也都鐵靑。我想我同小孩子有什麼讐,他也這樣。忍不住大聲說,「你告訴我!」他們可就跑了。 我想:我同趙貴翁有什麼讐,同路上的人又有什麼讐;只有廿年以前,把古久先生的陳年流水簿子,踹了一腳,古久先生很不高興。趙貴翁雖然不認識他,一定也聽到風聲,代抱不平;約定路上的人,同我作寃對。但是小孩子呢?那時候,他們還沒有出世,何以今天也睜着怪眼睛,似乎怕我、似乎想害我。這眞敎我怕,敎我納罕而且傷心。 我明白了。這是他們娘老子敎的! 三 编辑 晚上總是睡不着。凡事須得研究,纔會明白。 他們——也有給知縣打枷過的,也有給紳士掌過嘴的,也有衙役佔了他妻子的,也有老子娘被債主逼死的;他們那時候的臉色,全沒有昨天這麼怕,也沒這麼兇。 最奇怪的是昨天街上的那個女人,打他兒子,嘴裏說道,「老子呀!我要咬你幾口纔出氣!」他眼睛却看着我。我出了一驚,遮掩不住;那靑面潦牙的一夥人,便都哄笑起來。陳老五趕上前,硬把我拖回家中了。 拖我回家,家裏的人都裝作不認識我;他們的眼色,也全同別人一樣。進了書房,便反扣上門,宛然是關了一隻鷄鴨。這一件事,越敎我猜不出底細。 前幾天,狼子村的佃戶來吿荒,對我大哥說,他們村裏的一個大惡人,給大家打死了;幾個人便挖出他的心肝來,用油煎炒了吃,可以壯壯膽子。我插了一句嘴,佃戶和大哥便都看我幾眼。今天纔曉得他們的眼光,全同外面的那夥人一模一樣。 想起來,我從頂上直冷到腳跟。 他們會吃人,就未必不會吃我。 你看那女人「咬你幾口」的話,和一夥靑面潦牙人的笑,和前天佃戶的話,明明是暗號。我看出他話中全是毒,笑中全是刀。他們的牙齒,全是白厲厲的排着,這就是吃人的家伙。 照我自己想,雖然不是惡人,自從踹了古家的簿子,可就難說了。他們似乎別有心思,我全猜不出。况且他們一翻臉,便說人是惡人。我還記得大哥敎我做論,無論怎樣好人,翻他幾句,他便打上幾個圈;原諒壞人幾句,他便說「翻天妙手,與衆不同」。我那裏猜得到他們的心思,究竟怎樣;况且是要吃的時候。 凡事總須研究,纔會明白。古來時常吃人,我也還記得,可是不甚淸楚。我翻開歷史一查,這歷史没有年代,歪歪斜斜的每葉上都寫着「仁義道德」幾個字。我橫竪睡不著,仔細看了半夜,纔從字縫裏看出字來,滿本都寫着兩個字是「吃人」! 書上寫着這許多字,佃戶說了這許多話、却都笑吟吟的睜着怪眼睛看我。 我也是人,他們想要吃我了! 四 编辑 早上,我靜坐了一會。陳老五送進飯來,一碗菜,一碗蒸魚;這魚的眼睛,白而且硬,張着嘴,同那一夥想吃人的人一樣。吃了幾筷,滑溜溜的不知是魚是人,便把他兜肚連腸的吐出。 我說「老五,對大哥説,我悶得荒,想到園裏走走。」老五不答應,走了;停一會,可就來開了門。 我也不動,研究他們如何擺佈我;知道他們一定不肯放鬆。果然!我大哥引了一個老頭子,慢慢走來;他滿眼兇光,怕我看出,只是低頭向着地,從眼鏡橫邊暗暗看我。大哥說,「今天你彷佛很好。」我說「是的。」大哥說,「今天請何先生來,給你診一診。」我說「可以!」其實我豈不知道這老頭子是劊子手扮的!無非借了看脈這名目、揣一揣肥瘠;因這功勞,也分一片肉吃。我也不怕;雖然不吃人,膽子卻比他們還壯。伸出兩個拳頭,看他如何下手。老頭子坐着,閉了眼睛,摸了好一會,呆了好一會;便張開他鬼眼睛說,「不要亂想,靜靜的養幾天,就好了。」 不要亂想,靜靜的養!養肥了,他們是自然可以多吃;我有什麼好處,怎麼會「好了」?他們這羣人,又想吃人,又是鬼鬼祟祟,想法子遮掩,不敢直捷下手,眞要令我笑死,我忍不住,便放聲大笑起來,十分快活。自己曉得這笑聲裏面,有的是義勇和正氣;老頭子和大哥,都失了色,被我這勇氣正氣鎭壓住了。 但是我有勇氣,他們便越想吃我,沾光一點這勇氣。老頭子跨出門,走不多遠,便低聲對大哥說道,「趕緊吃罷!」大哥點點頭。原來也有你!這一件大發見,雖似意外,也在意中;合夥吃我的人,便是我的哥哥! 吃人的是我哥哥! 我是吃人的人的兄弟! 我自己被人吃了,可仍然是吃人的人的兄弟! 五 编辑 這幾天是退一步想:假使那老頭子不是劊子手扮的,眞是醫生,也仍然是吃人的人。他們的祖師李時珍做的「本草什麼」上,明明寫着人肉可以煎吃;他還能說自己不吃人麼? 至於我家大哥,也毫不寃枉他。他對我講書的時候,親口說過可以易子而食;又一回偶然議論起一個不好的人,他便說不但該殺,還當食肉寢皮。我那時年紀還小,心跳了好半天。前天狼子村佃戶來說吃心肝的事,他也毫不奇怪,不住的點頭。可見心思是同從前一樣很。旣然可以易子而食,便什麼都易得什麼人都吃得。我從前單聽他講道理,也胡塗過去;現在曉得他講道理的時候,不但脣邊還抹着人油,而且心裏滿裝着吃人的意思。 六 编辑 黑漆漆的,不知是日是夜。趙家的狗又叫起來了。 獅子似的凶心,兎子的怯弱,狐狸的狡猾,…… 七 编辑 我曉得他們的方法直捷殺了,是不肯的,而且也不敢,怕有禍祟。所以他們大家連絡,布滿了羅網,逼我自戕。試看前幾天街上男女的樣子,和這幾天我大哥的作爲,便足可悟出八九分了。最好是解下腰帶,掛在梁上,自己緊緊勒死;他們沒有殺人的罪名,又償了心願,自然都歡天喜地的發出一種嗚嗚咽咽的笑聲。否則驚嚇憂愁死了,雖則略瘦,也還可以首肯幾下。 他們是只會吃死肉的!——什麼上說,有一種東西,叫「海乙那」的,眼光和樣子都很難看;時常吃死肉、連極大的骨頭,都細細嚼爛,嚥下肚子去,想起來也敎人害怕。「海乙那」是狼的親眷,狼是狗的本家。前天趙家的狗,看我幾眼,可見他也同謀,早已接洽。老頭子眼看着地,豈能瞞得我過。 最可憐的是我的大哥。他也是人,何以毫不害怕,而且合夥吃我呢?還是歷來慣了,不以爲非呢?還是喪了良心,明知故犯呢? 我咀呪吃人的人,先從他起頭;要勸轉吃人的人,也先從他下手。 八 编辑 其實這種道理,到了現在,他們也該早已懂得,…… 忽然來了一個人;年紀不過二十左右,相貌是不狠看得淸楚,滿面笑容,對了我點頭,他的笑也不像眞笑。我便問他,「吃人的事、對麼?」他仍然笑着說,「不是荒年,怎麼會吃人。」我立刻就曉得,他也是一夥,喜歡吃人的;便自勇氣百倍,偏要問他。 「對麼?」 「這等事問他甚麼。你眞會……說笑話。……今天天氣很好。」 天氣是好,月色也狠亮了。可是我要問你,「對麼?」 他不以爲然了。含含胡胡的答道,「不……」 「不對?他們何以竟吃!」 「沒有的事……」 「沒有的事?狼子村現吃;還有書上都寫着,通紅斬新!」 他便變了臉,鐵一般靑。睜着眼說,「有許有的,這是從來如此……」 「從來如此便對麼?」 「我不同你講這些道理;總之你不該說,你說便是你錯!」 我直跳起來,張開眼,這人便不見了。上身出了一大片汗。他的年紀,比我大哥小得遠,居然也是一夥;這一定是他娘老子先敎的。還怕已經教給他兒子了;所以連小孩子,也都惡狠狠的看我。 九 编辑 自己想吃人,又怕被別人吃了,都用着疑心極深的眼光,面面相覷。…… 去了這心思,放心做事走路吃飯睡覺,何等舒服。這只是一條門檻,一個關頭。他們可是父子兄弟夫婦朋友師生仇敵和各不相識的人,都結成一夥,互相勸勉,互相牽掣,死也不肯跨這一步。 十 编辑 大淸早,去尋我大哥;他立在堂門外看天,我便走到他背後,攔住門,格外沈靜,格外和氣的對他說, 「大哥,我有話吿訴你。」 「你說就是,」他趕緊回過臉來,點點頭。 「我只有幾句話,可是說不出來。大哥,大約當初野蠻的人,都吃過一點人。後來因爲心思不同,有的不吃人了,一味要好,便變了人,變了眞的人。有的卻還吃,——也同蟲子一樣,有的變了魚鳥猴子,一直變到人。有的不要好,至今還是蟲子。這吃人的人比不吃人的人,何等慚愧。怕比蟲子的慚愧猴子,還差得很遠很遠。 易牙蒸了他兒子,給桀紂吃,還是一直從前的事。誰曉得從盤古開闢天地以後,一直吃到易牙的兒子;從易牙的兒子,一直吃到徐錫林;從徐錫林,又一直吃到狼子村捉住的人。去年城裏殺了犯人,還有一個生癆病的人,用饅頭蘸着血舐。 他們要吃我,你一個人,原也無法可想;然而又何必入夥。吃人的人,什麼事做不出;他們會吃我,也會吃你,一夥裏面,也會自吃。但只要轉一步,只要立刻改了,也就人人太平。雖然從來如此,我們今天也可以格外要好,說是不能!大哥,我相信你能說,前天佃戶要減租,你說過不能。」 當初,他還只是冷笑,隨後眼光便凶狠起來,一到說破他們的隱情,那就滿臉都變成靑色了。大門外立着一夥人,趙貴翁和他的狗,也在裏面,都探頭探腦的挨進來。有的是看不出面貌,似乎用布蒙着;有的是仍舊靑面潦牙,抿着嘴笑。我認識他們是一夥,都是吃人的人。可也曉得他心思狠不一樣,一種是以爲從來如此,應該吃的;一種是知道不該吃,可是仍然要吃,又怕別人說破他,所以聽了我的話,越發氣憤不過,可是抿着嘴冷笑。 這時候,大哥也忽然顯出凶相,高聲喝道, 「都出去!瘋子有什麼好看!」 這時候,我又懂得一件他們的巧妙了。他們豈但不肯改,而且早已布置;豫備下一個瘋子的名目罩上我。將來吃了,不但太平無事,怕還會有人見情。佃戶說的大家吃了一個惡人,正是這方法。這是他們的老譜! 陳老五也氣憤憤的直走進來。如何按得住我的口,我偏要對這夥人說, 「你們可以改了,從眞心改起!要曉得將來容不得吃人的人,活在世上。 你們要不改,自己也會吃盡。卽使生得多,也會給眞的人除滅了,同獵人打完狼子一樣!——同蟲子一樣!」 那一夥人,都被陳老五趕走了。大哥也不知那裏去了。陳老五勸我回屋子裏去。屋裏面全是黑沈沈的。橫梁和椽子都在頭上發抖;抖了一會,便大起來,堆在我身上。 萬分沈重,動彈不得;他的意思是要我死。我曉得他的沈重是假的,便掙扎出來,出了一身汗。可是偏要說, 「你們立刻改了,從眞心改起!你們要曉得將來容不得吃人的人!……」 十一 编辑 太陽也不出,門也不開,日日是兩頓飯。 我揑起筷子,便想起我大哥;曉得妹子死掉的緣故,也全在他。那時我妹子纔五歲,可愛可憐的樣子,還在眼前。母親哭個不住,他郤勸母親不要哭;大約因爲自己吃了,哭起來不免有點過意不去。如果還能過意不去,…… 妹子是被大哥吃了,母親知道沒有,我可不得而知。 母親想也知道;不過哭的時候,却並沒說明,大約也以爲應當的了。記得我四五歲時,坐在堂前乘涼,大哥說爺娘生病,做兒子的須割下一片肉來,煑熟了請他吃,纔算好人;母親也沒說不行。一片吃得,整個的自然也吃得。但是那天的哭法,現在想起來,實在還敎人傷心,這眞是奇極的事! 十二 编辑 不能想了。 四千年來時時吃人的地方,今天纔明白,我也在其中混了多年;大哥正管着家務,妹子恰恰死了,他未必不和在飯菜裏,暗暗給我們吃。 我未必無意之中,不吃了我妹子的幾片肉,現在也輪到我自己,…… 有了四千年吃人履歷的我,當初雖然不知道,現在明白,難見眞的人! 十三 编辑 沒有吃過人的孩子,或者還有? 救救孩子…… TRANSLATED TEXT: A certain gentleman and his brother, whose names I will keep anonymous, were good friends of mine during my time at Middle School. We have been separated for many years, and communication has gradually ceased. Recently, I heard that one of them was seriously ill. As I returned to my hometown, I took a detour to visit, but only met one of them, who informed me that it was his younger brother who had been ill. He thanked me for coming from afar to see him, but mentioned that he had already recovered and gone to a certain place to await an appointment. We laughed heartily, and he showed me two diaries, suggesting that I could see the state of his illness at the time and that it might be of interest to old friends. Upon reading them, I realized that the illness was akin to "persecution mania." The language was quite disordered and incoherent, with many absurd statements; there were no dates, and the ink and handwriting varied, indicating that it was not written all at once. Occasionally, there were some slightly coherent parts, and I have now excerpted one piece for medical research. The errors in the text have not been altered; only the names, though all villagers and unknown to the world, have been changed for the sake of propriety. As for the title of the book, it was given by the person himself after recovery and has not been changed. Recorded on April 2nd, seven years ago. One Tonight, the moonlight is exceptionally good. I haven't seen him for over thirty years; seeing him today, my spirits are extraordinarily refreshed. Only now do I realize that the past thirty years were all a blur; however, I must be extremely careful. Otherwise, why would the Zhao Family's dog look at me twice? I have a reason to be afraid. Two There is no moonlight today; I know this is not good. I left the house cautiously in the morning, and Zhao Guiweng's expression was strange: as if he feared me, or perhaps intended to harm me. There were also seven or eight people whispering about me, afraid that I would notice. Everyone along the way was like this. The most vicious one among them grinned at me, which sent a chill from my head to my heels, making me realize that their arrangements were already in place. But I am not afraid and continue on my way. A group of children ahead was also discussing me; their expressions were the same as Zhao Guiweng's, and their faces were all iron blue. I wondered what grudge I could have with the children for them to behave this way. Unable to hold back, I shouted, "Tell me!" and they ran away. I thought: what grudge do I have with Zhao Guiweng, or with the people on the road? Only twenty years ago, I kicked Mr. Gujiu's old account book, which made him very unhappy. Although Zhao Guiweng doesn't know him, he must have heard the rumors and decided to take sides against me, aligning with the people on the road. But what about the children? They weren't even born then, so why are they glaring at me today, as if they fear me or want to harm me? This truly frightens me, makes me perplexed and heartbroken. I understand now. It's their parents who taught them! Three I can't sleep at night. Everything must be studied to be understood. They—some have been shackled by the magistrate, some have been slapped by gentry, some have had their wives taken by yamen runners, and some have had their parents forced to death by creditors; yet their expressions back then were not as fearful or fierce as yesterday. The strangest thing was the woman on the street yesterday, hitting her son, saying, "Oh father! I want to bite you a few times to vent my anger!" But her eyes were on me. I was startled, unable to hide it; the group of blue-faced, yellow-toothed people burst into laughter. Chen Laowu rushed forward and forcibly dragged me back home. Dragging me home, everyone there pretended not to recognize me; their expressions were just like everyone else's. Once in the study, they locked the door behind me, as if they were locking up a chicken or duck. This made the situation even more puzzling to me. A few days ago, a tenant from Langzi Village came to report famine to my elder brother, saying that a great villain in their village had been beaten to death by everyone; a few people then dug out his heart and liver, fried them in oil, and ate them to boost their courage. I interjected, and both the tenant and my brother gave me a few glances. Only today do I realize that their looks were exactly the same as those of the people outside. Thinking about it, a chill ran from my head to my heels. If they can eat people, they might eat me too. Look at the woman's words "bite you a few times," the laughter of the blue-faced, yellow-toothed group, and the tenant's words from the other day, they are clearly secret signals. I can see that their words are full of poison, and their laughter is full of knives. Their teeth are all lined up, sharp and white, these are the tools for eating people. According to my own thoughts, although I am not a villain, ever since I kicked Mr. Gujiu's account book, it's hard to say. They seem to have other intentions, which I cannot guess at all. Moreover, when they turn against someone, they call them a villain. I still remember my elder brother teaching me to write essays, no matter how good a person is, twist a few words, and they become a villain; excuse a bad person a few times, and they say "a master of turning the world upside down, unique among the crowd." How could I guess their true intentions, especially when it comes to eating? Everything must be studied to be understood. People have often been eaten throughout history, I still remember, but not very clearly. I opened the history books to check, and this history has no dates, on each slanted page are the words "benevolence, righteousness, morality." I couldn't sleep anyway, so I looked carefully for half the night, and only then did I see between the lines, the whole book was filled with the words "eat people"! The book contains so many words, the tenant said so many things, yet they all looked at me with smiling, strange eyes. I am also human, they want to eat me! In the morning, I sat quietly for a while. Chen Laowu brought in the meal, a bowl of vegetables and a bowl of steamed fish; the eyes of the fish were white and hard, with its mouth open, just like those people who want to eat others. After a few bites, the slippery texture made it unclear whether it was fish or human, so I spat it out along with everything in my stomach. I said, "Laowu, tell big brother that I'm feeling restless and want to take a walk in the garden." Laowu didn't respond and left; after a while, he came back and opened the door. I didn't move, studying how they were plotting against me; I knew they wouldn't relax their guard. Sure enough! My big brother brought an old man, slowly walking towards me; his eyes were full of malice, afraid I'd notice, he kept his head down, secretly watching me from the side of his glasses. My brother said, "You seem better today." I replied, "Yes." My brother said, "Today, Mr. He is here to give you a check-up." I said, "Alright!" But how could I not know this old man was disguised as an executioner! They just used the pretense of checking my pulse to gauge my condition; for this service, he would get a piece of meat to eat. I wasn't afraid; though I don't eat people, my courage is stronger than theirs. I extended my fists to see how he would proceed. The old man sat there, closed his eyes, felt my pulse for a long time, and then opened his ghostly eyes, saying, "Don't overthink, rest quietly for a few days, and you'll be fine." Don't overthink, rest quietly! Once I'm fattened up, they can eat more; what benefit do I get, how could I be "fine"? These people want to eat others, yet they sneak around, trying to cover it up, not daring to act directly, which makes me want to laugh to death. I couldn't help it and burst into laughter, feeling very happy. I knew that in this laughter, there was righteousness and courage; the old man and my brother turned pale, suppressed by my courage and righteousness. But the more courage I had, the more they wanted to eat me, to gain some of that courage. The old man stepped out the door, not far away, he whispered to my brother, "Hurry up and eat!" My brother nodded. So, you're in on it too! This big discovery, though unexpected, was also anticipated; the one conspiring to eat me is my brother! My brother is one who eats people! I am the brother of those who eat people! Even if I am eaten, I am still the brother of those who eat people! Five These days, I've been thinking: even if that old man wasn't disguised as an executioner, but truly a doctor, he would still be one who eats people. Their ancestor Li Shizhen wrote in the "Compendium of Materia Medica" that human flesh can be cooked and eaten; can he still claim he doesn't eat people? As for my big brother, he is not wronged at all. When he was teaching me, he personally said that it was possible to exchange children for food; once, when discussing a bad person, he said not only should they be killed, but their flesh should be eaten and their skin slept on. At that time, I was young, and my heart pounded for a long time. The other day, when a tenant from Langzi Village came talking about eating hearts and livers, he wasn't surprised at all, nodding continuously. It shows his thoughts are just as they were before. Since they can exchange children for food, they can eat anything and anyone. Before, I just listened to his reasoning and muddled through; now I know that when he was reasoning, not only was there human oil on his lips, but his heart was full of thoughts of eating people. Six It's pitch black, I don't know if it's day or night. The Zhao Family's dog started barking again. The fierce heart of a lion, the timidity of a rabbit, the cunning of a fox... Seven I know their method is not to kill directly, they wouldn't dare, fearing retribution. So they all connect, spreading a net, forcing me to commit suicide. Look at the way the men and women on the street behaved a few days ago, and my brother's actions these days, and you can understand most of it. The best way is to untie my belt, hang it on the beam, and strangle myself tightly; they won't have the crime of murder, yet fulfill their wish, naturally, they will all joyfully emit a kind of sobbing laughter. Otherwise, if I die from fright and worry, though a bit thinner, they can still nod approvingly. They only eat dead meat! — Something says there's a creature called "Hyena," with unpleasant eyes and appearance; it often eats dead meat, even chewing and swallowing large bones, which is frightening to think about. "Hyena" is a relative of the wolf, and wolves are related to dogs. The other day, the Zhao Family's dog looked at me a few times, showing it was also in on it, already in contact. The old man looked at the ground, how could he deceive me? The most pitiful is my big brother. He is also human, why is he not afraid, and even conspires to eat me? Is it because he's used to it, not seeing it as wrong? Or has he lost his conscience, knowingly committing the act? I curse those who eat people, starting with him; to persuade those who eat people, I also start with him. Eight In fact, this reasoning, by now, they should have long understood... Suddenly, a person appeared; he was about twenty years old, and his appearance wasn't very clear, but he had a full smile on his face, nodding at me. His smile didn't seem genuine. I asked him, "Is it true about eating people?" He continued to smile and said, "Without a famine, why would people eat others?" I immediately realized he was part of the group that liked eating people; this gave me immense courage, and I insisted on asking him. "Is it true?" "Why ask about such things? You really know how to... joke... The weather is nice today." The weather was indeed nice, and the moonlight was very bright. But I wanted to ask you, "Is it true?" He was dismissive. He mumbled in response, "No..." "Not true? Then why do they eat!" "It's not true..." "Not true? Langzi Village is currently eating; it's even written in books, freshly printed in red!" His face changed, turning ashen. He said with wide eyes, "There is indeed, this has always been the case..." "Just because it's always been this way, does that make it right?" "I won't discuss these matters with you; in any case, you shouldn't say it, and if you do, you're wrong!" I jumped up, opened my eyes, and the person was gone. My upper body was covered in sweat. He was much younger than my elder brother, yet he was part of the group; it must have been taught by his parents. I'm afraid he's already taught his son; that's why even the children look at me viciously. Nine They want to eat people themselves, yet fear being eaten by others, looking at each other with deep suspicion... Once this thought is gone, doing things, walking, eating, and sleeping would be so comfortable. It's just a threshold, a turning point. But they, whether fathers, sons, brothers, husbands, wives, friends, teachers, students, enemies, or strangers, all form a group, encouraging and restraining each other, unwilling to take this step even in death. Ten Early in the morning, I went to find my elder brother; he was standing outside the hall door looking at the sky. I walked up behind him, blocking the door, and spoke to him with extra calmness and kindness, "Brother, I have something to tell you." "Just say it," he quickly turned around and nodded. "I have only a few words, but I can't express them. Brother, perhaps in the beginning, primitive people all ate a bit of human flesh. Later, because of different thoughts, some stopped eating people, striving for goodness, and became human, became real humans. Some still eat, just like insects, some turned into fish, birds, monkeys, and eventually into humans. Some don't want to be good, and to this day are still insects. Those who eat people are much more ashamed than those who don't. I'm afraid they're far more ashamed than insects are of monkeys. Yi Ya steamed his son for Jie and Zhou to eat; that's an ancient story. Who knows, from the time of Pangu creating the world, they ate all the way to Yi Ya's son; from Yi Ya's son, they ate all the way to Xu Xilin; from Xu Xilin, they ate all the way to the people caught in Langzi Village. Last year, when a criminal was executed in the city, there was even a person with tuberculosis who used a bun to dip in the blood and lick it. They want to eat me, and you alone can't do anything about it; but why join them? People who eat others can do anything; they can eat me, and they can eat you, even among themselves. But as long as you take one step, as long as you change immediately, everyone will be at peace. Although it's always been this way, today we can strive to be better, saying it's impossible! Brother, I believe you can say it, the other day when the tenant wanted to reduce rent, you said it was impossible." At first, he just sneered coldly, then his gaze turned fierce, and as soon as their secret was exposed, his whole face turned blue. Outside the main door stood a group of people, Zhao Guiweng and his dog were among them, all craning their necks to peer inside. Some faces were unrecognizable, seemingly covered with cloth; some still had blue faces and yellow teeth, smirking with pursed lips. I recognized them as part of the group, all people-eaters. But I also knew their thoughts were very different; some believed it had always been this way and should be eaten; some knew it shouldn't be eaten, but still wanted to eat, afraid of being exposed, so when they heard my words, they became even more furious, but still smirked coldly with pursed lips. At this moment, my brother suddenly showed a fierce expression, shouting loudly, "Everyone out! What's there to see in a madman!" At this moment, I understood another of their clever tricks. Not only are they unwilling to change, but they have already arranged it; prepared a madman's label to cover me. In the future, when they eat me, not only will it be peaceful, but there might even be people who sympathize. The tenant said everyone ate a villain, and that's exactly the method. This is their old trick! Chen Laowu also angrily walked straight in. How could they silence me? I insisted on telling this group, "You can change, start from the heart! You must know that in the future, those who eat people will not be allowed to live in this world. If you don't change, you will eat yourselves up. Even if you give birth to many, they will be eradicated by real humans, just like hunters finishing off wolves! — Just like insects!" That group of people was all driven away by Chen Laowu. My brother also disappeared somewhere. Chen Laowu urged me to go back inside the house. Inside, it was all dark. The beams and rafters trembled above my head; after shaking for a while, they grew larger, piling on top of me. With immense heaviness, I couldn't move; his intention was for me to die. I knew his heaviness was fake, so I struggled to get out, breaking into a sweat. Yet, I insisted, "You must change immediately, starting from the heart! You must understand that in the future, those who eat people will not be tolerated!..." Eleven The sun doesn't rise, the door doesn't open, and every day there are only two meals. When I picked up the chopsticks, I thought of my elder brother; I knew the reason my younger sister died was entirely because of him. At that time, my sister was only five years old, her adorable and pitiable appearance still vivid in my mind. My mother cried incessantly, but he persuaded her not to cry; probably because he felt guilty for having eaten, crying would make him feel even more remorseful. If he could still feel remorse... My sister was eaten by my elder brother, whether my mother knew or not, I couldn't tell. My mother probably knew; however, during her crying, she never explained, perhaps thinking it was appropriate. I remember when I was four or five years old, sitting in the hall to cool off, my elder brother said that when parents are sick, a good son should cut off a piece of his flesh, cook it, and offer it to them; only then is he considered a good person. My mother didn't say it was wrong. If a piece can be eaten, naturally the whole can be eaten too. But thinking back to that day's crying, it truly makes one heartbroken, it's an extremely bizarre thing! Twelve I can't think about it anymore. In this place where people have been eaten for four thousand years, today I finally understand, I have been mixed in it for many years; my elder brother was in charge of the household, my sister just happened to die, he might have secretly mixed her into the food for us to eat. I might have unknowingly eaten a few pieces of my sister's flesh, and now it's my turn... With my four thousand years of cannibalistic history, although I didn't know at first, now I understand, it's hard to find a true person! Thirteen Are there any children who haven't eaten people, perhaps there are? Save the children... NAME MAPPINGS: 中學校 → Middle School 趙家 → Zhao Family 趙貴翁 → Zhao Guiweng 古久先生 → Mr. Gujiu 陳老五 → Chen Laowu 李時珍 → Li Shizhen 易牙 → Yi Ya 桀紂 → Jie and Zhou 徐錫林 → Xu Xilin 狼子村 → Langzi Village 『死者の書』 → The Book of the Dead 海乙那 → Hyena Exported from TranslAItion